Holding On

As the day begins to dawn the house is chilly. The day looks gray and the wind is stiff. The fields are covered in the vestiges of the year’s harvest. Brittle corn leaves huddle in corners and bramble and occasionally make their escape across road and grass to find safe harbor elsewhere. The time has changed giving dreams an extra hour and we relish warm sweaters and thick socks. It is autumn.

As I view the world beyond my refuge of blankets and little dogs an oak along the lane catches my attention. Still full of leaves, brown and brittle it shakes in the breeze. The leaves catch the wind and hold with stems fraught with tenacity and strength to remain one with the branch it has known for three seasons.

We too hold on to the seasons of life with mighty strength thinking this is the pinnacle of our existence. We hold on to the lives of others afraid of what life holds for us without them. Like the oak leaf what we have known holds us to what has been. Although life tries to take us beyond and transform us we remain steadfast not to be changed. God has another plan. Our souls and lives are blessed beyond what we know. Remaining upon the branch does not allow us to see what is to come and experience the next season God has for us. Despite all our strength our stems will fail and we will be blown into the field, along the fence line, or into the pond. But this is never an ending. It is a different life but is just as blessed. We move from life to life.

The promise for this day is sunshine and temperatures that bid the chill away. In this day may you see the unexpected blessings the God of all beauty and love has for you and let go!

The Fog of Presence

As I awoke yesterday the light was dim and the sun still hesitating on the other side of the world. As dawn began a vivid pink caught my attention. The sky was a masterpiece of color. The gray fields now barren of corn and beans were cloaked in a band of fog. The white mist hung heavy above the ground yet remained below the tips of the trees. I sensed this was a scene I should be aware of, that this image would resound within me to be called forth in another context or with deeper meaning. I was struck with the density of this band of mist, strangely present, uniquely dense.  I sensed God’s presence, his power resting over the world, abiding, standing guard.

A few months ago I was reading Ezekiel and was struck by his vision and the aura of a rainbow emanating from the presence of God. I always thought of the rainbow as the visual reminder of God’s promise, a tweak of thought to his power. A symbol of his patience. It wasn’t until in that reading I understood the rainbow as an image of God’s presence. His color and impact upon his creation. Not a reminder only, but a sighting. I am reminded of that gossamer of God as I witnessed the fog.

Growing up in California the fog would be very thick. So thick we would play tag in the fog. Within a few feet we would be hidden from each other. Every step was a daring encounter to avoid collision and discovery by the game’s pursuer. I loved that game. The danger, the damp air, the mystery.

We are tempted to think that the fog hides us. The sticky, damp areas of life that we place ourselves behind will prove to send God beyond us. We try to veil ourselves, cover our heads from the wash of rain. If we hide from the storms, we will not be touched by them. Our wayward actions can go undiscovered and we can point to the rainbow of promise and find peace in God’s justice to provide safe harbor.

But God is the rainbow, God is the fog and storm. While we may try to hide God has actually enfolded us within his grace and Spirit. We do not dodge and run away from God. He is not the pursuer in the game to catch us. He is there swirling around our legs and shoulders. God is the little cat’s feet of Carl Sandburg silently laying a blanket of grace over the world. God is the color and the hope that finds us in the light of seeing the storm through. He is the storm and the healing presence that is that bright and terrible teacher and the calming presence all wrapped up in a rainbow of grace and mercy.

As you dance and play through your day, may you sight the presence of the holy and beloved creator and know the love that changes life.

"Some Pig"

It was a California day. The classroom door was open and the soft breeze smelled like sunshine and all that is captivating wonder. The sun beams were heavy with motes and fairy dust as the words of E. B. White swirled through my mind. Mrs. Grady with blond hair and youthful passion read Charlotte’s Web to us as our lunches and playground games rode heavy upon us and brought a dreamy stillness to the circle of children. This afternoon gave way to more filled with Stewart Little, Charlie, and James. The magic of books, the power of language, and the delight of shared imagination was launched.

Charlotte came back into my life again this week. The couch was warm covered in little dogs and little people. The book was digital, the conveyance a Kindle but the magic was still there. The wonder was adult as I shared words and watched Liam and Payton embrace Wilbur and Charlotte. The love is in being together sharing thought and time and the impact of a good story. For them I hope it brings warm memories of learning, reading, and being loved. So many years ago this gift was given by Mrs. Grady, no doubt considered her job, but a gift that changed at least one little girl.  A gift that continues as I shared it first with my children and now my grandchildren.

I remember Bob Farr, Co-author of Get Their Name, shared failing his children. He spoke of taking his children to church, but was negligent in bringing them faith, and passion for Christ. I wonder how many of us have been neglected, and also failed our own children to know that passion for Christ. I think of this and the vulnerability it takes to share Jesus within our families. While we don’t want to be persecuted, or rejected it is so much more dangerous with those we love. We may laugh years later when our children reach that point of embarrassment of their parents as they seek independence.  Our novelty wears off as they find new paths without our hands to help them cross the street. We laugh, but we also remember the sting of it. Rejection of our souls would be that much more devastating. So we don’t push, we don’t demand. And we fail to bring to them the passion of a Christ filled life. We fail to encounter the power of God together. Statistics and studies show that those parents that live, and model the values and disciplines of their Christian faith develop children that also have a passion for Christ. Bob spoke about embracing his second chance and sharing his faith and passion with his grandchildren. How to share his soul.

As I share Charlotte’s Web with Payton and Liam I also share my love for reading, imagination, color, and play. As I share this deep part of who I am, I also share my faith and love for God and Christ. I share my understandings of the Holy Spirit and the power it has to bring us strength and peace. I boldly share my soul. Because, it is the beauty of God and his love that brings all other parts of our lives into balance. Like that day in elementary school all things come together to change our lives to be filled with wonder, power, and love when we embrace God’s grace given through Christ and lives beyond our understanding through the Holy Spirit.

May your soul sing and rejoice in the wonder of God’s grace.

Works Cited

Anderson, Bob, Bob Farr and Kotan Kay. Get Their Name. Nashville: Abingdon Press, 2013.

White, E. B. Charlotte's Web. Harper Collins, n.d.

Integrity

A game we play to “break the ice” in youth group is called two truths and a lie. It is a way of revealing parts of yourself to others you are just getting to know and build conversation. The game requires each person to state two truths and a lie and the other participants to guess which statement is a lie. It can be a fun way to shock others with quirky parts of your personality that they wouldn’t normally know about you. I tend to shock them by revealing my love for the “Walking Dead” and horror podcasts.

The entire hang up in getting to know others is that we only witness what they desire to show or reveal to us. We develop trust over time and through sharing experiences. It is a rare person that is open enough to reveal their center with boldness. It is hard to be vulnerable and risk being hurt and exploited. I have spent a large portion of my life moving and getting to know new people and develop relationships. It takes time and in developing those friendships some people become a part of your fiber and remain for a lifetime, and others only for a season. I believe a lot of that has to do with the depth of honesty, trust, and devotion that is created and shared.

Over the past two days a theme of integrity developed. It was a point of conversation in several different contexts. In sharing observations with a friend we explored our understanding of integrity. It is an integral point of evaluation in a class that I am taking, and beautifully demonstrated through a colleague.

He is a gentle soul with a soft southern Indiana way of speaking. Always dressed in suit and collared shirt his clothing reveals his generation. White hair neatly combed above a gentle welcoming face. He is the administrator for my district of Course of Study. He operates as my bursar, and registrar for the classes I take at the University of Indianapolis. Devoted to record accuracy he carries his binder with all our names and classes and subsequent payments accounted for.

As we gather for another weekend of study in the school’s chapel we hear announcements, updates, and share prayers before we worship. Over the seven years at COS I have prayed for this gentleman’s ill wife and her entrance to glory. I have hugged and tried to share gentle and encouraging words as I witnessed the pull of grief upon his shoulders and facial features.

He stood up to lead us in the morning message and revealed a level of integrity to faith and the love of God that has clung to me and proves to be an example of loving trust beyond what I have ever witnessed. He revealed he had lost his son suddenly and shared of the infant children that had also passed into glory. He shared his questions, and the inability to comprehend the reasons for experiencing so much loss. He shared his heart in gentle revelatory boldness. Through his words he witnessed to the beauty of his soul. A loving man, a Christian man, a man of integrity. Despite all the loss and questions he remains faithful. A man of integrity. A man of God.

As we all journey forward and continue our path of life. What will we reveal? Will our lives be full of integrity and bold truths, or will we hide behind deceptive layers to impress others? Will we embrace our faith and struggle with our understandings of God in order to establish our theological foundations? Will we boldly share our center so others may also witness the honesty of life lived in faith and the struggles and questions we encounter? Will we love others enough to entrust them to who we are and share our pain? Will we live with integrity and faith?

As Yourself

I was quickly doing a morning Facebook check. Today there was a post about a woman who stood in a crowd blindfolded in a bathing suit. While I found her beautiful, she struggled with loving herself. She leaned a chalkboard against her shins that asked anyone who struggled with self-acceptance and body acceptance to draw a heart on her skin.

I think of standing there myself open and vulnerable to the judgement of others. I cannot imagine the fear and doubt that would rise within me. We are so quick to make assertions from what we see, and not what we know. We fail to see each other, much less ourselves, as God’s creation. A work of art that took nine months of work 24/7. The masterpiece of the master.

Amy stood there for almost an hour and became covered in hearts and encouraging words. She was hugged and loved through her vulnerability. As Christians we forget that we are always loved through our vulnerability. Just like a little girl takes for granted the loving remarks of a parent on her beauty, we also disregard the messages of our heavenly father. We are told to love God with all we are, all we have, and work to love better every day. That love includes our neighbor, and ourselves.

I pray today that we can all remember we are all masterpieces of the master, a loving creation that is complex and beautiful because of all it contains. Amy is beautiful on the outside, but more so for her bravery, honesty, and vulnerability. May we come to love ourselves better every day and come to see ourselves as the artistry of God’s very hand. 

 https://www.facebook.com/HLN/videos/989495071096560/?fref=nf

Lessons From The Road

Lessons from the road

I went on my first motorcycle vacation a few weeks ago. Ron and I were heading up to Traverse City Michigan from LaPorte Indiana. It was a Tuesday morning and we were packing up to go. It was a beautiful and a hot morning. I quickly decided to not take my heavy motorcycle jacket and grabbed a lighter street coat.

We started up the coast of Lake Michigan. It was so beautiful with the sun shining and light traffic. We were just north of South Haven that I started to get cold. We were in the trees and the air was damp and the breeze on the bike was chilly. We pulled over and I put on my red leather jacket and we set off. We stopped and got gas and headed up 31.

The road was grooved and the wind kicked up in a fierce way as we changed directions. I found my coat working like a sail. The wind rushing up my arms and pooling in my coat. Combined with the grooved roadway I found myself in a precarious situation surrounded by big trucks and not able to go the speed limit safely. With my heart pounding and Ron far ahead I decided to pull off in the rest area and change into my rain gear jacket.

With wrists securely fastened and no longer a little red sail it was much better. Yet the wind continued to push and pull at me. I found that fighting the wind didn’t help. It wasn’t strong enough to blow me over. With a little adjustment I was fine. What I really needed to do was relax into the wind. I needed to trust that I was safe, the weight of the bike, the laws of speed and gravity. The wind wasn’t going to change, but I could change how I dealt with it. I eased off my grip on the bars and settled into the pace and direction of the wind and took what came. I prayed and relaxed.

It became a fun trip with beautiful weather and the glorious landscape of Northern Michigan. It was a trip of physical perseverance as exhaustion set in miles from our hotel destination. But I learned a great deal on that first day of my first motorcycle vacation.

The right gear and tools are essential. We may balk at the price of equipment, but the correct equipment is important. As Christians we need the right equipment as well, and we need to use it. I learned that trying to force change on the unchangeable, or that I which have no control over is useless and exhausting. As Christians we must realize that we do not have the control, but only God and our will or response to his grace. We cannot force our way through, but we need to relax, loosen our grip, use our gear properly and see the beauty around the buffeting winds of life. Emboldened with the promises, and word of God, strengthened through the Spirit we ride. Life hits and slaps at us, but when wearing God’s grace, his armor, and his love we ride through.

I pray for all of you that you loosen your grip and claim the promises of God. Trust in his love and grace and seek the beauty that is ever present. Life will push and pull you, but with the right gear and trust in the power of God you will enjoy the ride.

Sabbath Blessings, Ann

Red Poppies

My brother David posted on Facebook a picture of my brother George and me. The first thing that caught my eye was the red poppy hiding in the red of my sweatshirt. It is funny when we think of our childhood and the little things that stick with us all our lives. I still adore those red poppies and as recently as last month proudly wore one at the LaPorte County Fair.

As a young Girl Scout I remember planting poppies on one of the banks along the roadway in Southern California near Palos Verdes. This was a tribute to our veterans and a community beautification project. As children we were encouraged to embrace the beauty of our country and support those who fought to protect our freedom and way of life. I remember wearing a POW bracelet until Lt. Bernard Tally Jr. returned from Vietnam.

Last week while at the grocery Liam asked if the gentleman before us was a soldier. Dressed in camo pants and cap this unobtrusive man was selecting bread. I encouraged Liam to ask if he was indeed a soldier. The man replied that yes he was at one time, but was now retired. I could see the lines and age upon his face. Liam smiled at him his sweetest five year old smile and said “thank you”. The man’s face softened and he smiled.

I think of all we teach and all we neglect to teach our children. We often teach them to be polite, to understand etiquette and generally show all the social graces. We often neglect however to tell them why.  It is more than the proper way to behave. It is because we are all God’s children. We are all loved and adored. We are all set aside as holy and special. Manners are a way that we show respect and share the love of God to others.

So as I see the red poppy on the sweatshirt of one year old me, I look back and think of all the important things my family and society taught me as I grew up. I think of all the little red poppies of respect and honor, of love and grace, of peace through Christ that I wear within myself. I think of Liam and my responsibility to teach and encourage the red poppies to grow within him to be that special smile in the world that shares the love of God.

Ann